But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. And do not fear their intimidation, and do not be troubled, but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you yet with gentleness and reverence; and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ will be put to shame.  1 Peter 3: 14-16

The Museum of Idolatry - Apologetic Report
Tuesday, 18 April 2017 02:40

Smoldering Man Bun Preacher Cody Bobay Featured

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Do you think the problem with Christian men is that they don't smolder enough, don't have their man bun tied tight enough, and aren't chiseling their body out to the max as they pursue a hyper-testosterone laden spirituality all done in the name of Jesus?

If your answer is yes, I have found the...

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Monday, 10 April 2017 04:38

Wanted: A Sunday School Teacher From Hell Featured

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This is a REAL job wanted flyer sent to us by a reader. We've blurred the contact info. But we've confirmed that the flyer is real.

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Authors: Chris Rosebrough

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Sunday, 09 April 2017 21:07

God Might Know Trump is a Bigamist Featured

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Vonda Brewer (a.k.a. the "Nagging Prophetess") seems to be saying that God told her President Donald Trump is a bigamist with a child, but God is not quite sure about it. 

She couches her word from God in a lot of uncertainty, probably because of her previous epic dump Trump fail

She...

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Jennifer LeClaire Senior Editor of Charisma Magazine wrote about the Sneaky Squid Spirit, which was also covered in this blog. What happens if you end up being a Sneaky Squid Spirit? What if you are a failed prophet who totally bamboozles someone with a false prophecy? LeClaire took some time on Fac...

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Did you know the all knowing God created animals but didn't know what he created? According to Jesse Duplantis Adam knew more about animals than God did, and Adam even breathed life into the animals.

This is so absurd it shouldn't need to be addressed, but I'll address it. God created the animals...

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Saturday, 25 March 2017 05:01

Jennifer LeClaire Writes New Inspired Scripture? Featured

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Jennifer LeClaire's new book Mornings With the Holy Spirit With Journal: Listening Daily to the Still, Small Voice of God, appears to be new scripture based on the book's description on Amazon.com.

“Mornings With the Holy Spirit with Journal is a daily devotional written as if the...

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Saturday, 25 March 2017 01:24

Anointed Cake Saves Gay, Atheist, Bar Owner Says Lance Wallnau Featured

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What should you do if you know a gay atheist who owned a bar and has a severe chip on his shoulder about Christianity? Most Christians within the bounds of orthodoxy would suggest praying for him, sharing scripture, and inviting him to church. But when you're a nutty seven mountains mandate guru...

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It's possible "prophetess" Mattie Nottage may be zerberting demons, something potentially learned by watching The Cosby Show. (You can watch the scene here if you do not have a frame of reference for the zerbert.) Here are clips from a recent exorcism video she released.

It's hard to...

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In scripture Paul an apostle wrote of his struggle as an apostle. He described how he hungered, thirsted, was poorly dressed, buffeted, and homeless (1 Corinthians 4:11). Apostle John P. Kelly has a much different experience.

Biblical apostles reference the Holy Ghost in relation to the...

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Friday, 17 March 2017 02:01

Visual Proof That Modern Churches are (Much) Better Featured

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Wanna see a bunch of neanderthals living in the dark ages? Click through these photos and look at these silly old churches having old-fashioned worship services:

(Pretty embarrassing, isn't it??)

But now, take a look at these modern church services. THIS is what works! THIS is how...

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Thursday, 16 March 2017 04:24

You're Not a Christian If You Dislike the Shack? Featured

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Did you know the litmus test for your very salvation could now be based on if you like or dislike The Shack?

Donald Woods, the Chief Spiritual Officer of The R Factor Ministries said on Facebook that perceptions of The Shack have created a new dividing line. (The quote below is reformatted...

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Sunday, 12 March 2017 08:11

Bible 2: Volume 1 - Hail to the King of the Jews, Baby! Featured

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imageBlasphemy has a name and that name is Bible 2.

Claiming to be the long-awaited sequel to the Bible this is so blasphemous it is hard to express our disdain without sinning. But we're still trying to figure out why Jesus is firing machines guns while riding my little pony. 

We're pretty sure some...

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imageThis is one of the biggest "pastors" in America. This is not satire. This was part of a horrible sermon series. Listen to Chris Rosebrough discuss this on this episode of Fighting for the Faith.

In case you're thinking, "Well at least he's getting people to come to church..." you need to read this:

Th...

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Wednesday, 08 March 2017 05:27

Shack Author Shares His New Age Mystical Side Featured

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Here's a conference where only three people will be speaking (one of them is William Paul Young):

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Trinity: The Soul of Creation

Here's a description of what they'll be talking about from their home page:

"Belief in a Trinitarian God is not primarily a Christian theological revelation as much as it is...

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Thursday, 23 February 2017 04:30

"Beware of the Sneaky Squid Spirit" Says Jennifer LeClaire! Featured

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This is NOT satire:

"When the Sneaky Squid Spirit Starts Stalking You" by Jennifer LeClaireJennifer LeClaire is the SENIOR Editor at Charisma Magazine. Can you even imagine what kind of useless nonsense must be coming from the Junior Editor??

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Look! It's a MONSTER!!

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Jennifer LeClaire Gets...

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Monday, 20 February 2017 03:50

Just What the Church Needs: "Glitter Ash Wednesday" Featured

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Another crazy example of the "church" losing its moorings and entering a place of complete Apostasy and self-satire: 

"Glitter Ash Wednesday Sparkles for LGBT Christians and Others"

 

Authors: Steven Kozar

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Friday, 17 February 2017 13:56

"A Transformational Oil Spill Is Coming" Says Charisma Magazine Featured

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It appears that Charisma Magazine might be trying to compete with The Babylon Bee:

Prophecy: A Transformational Oil Spill is Coming

Maybe Dawn Hill, who wrote this strange little article, went and saw Heidi Baker last year:

Heidi Baker: "I Wanna Live an Oily Life!"

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We here at Pirate Christian Media are...

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Monday, 13 February 2017 05:53

Life is Too Short for Boring Sex Featured

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Heath Mooneyham of Ignite "Church" has good news to tell the world. Unfortunately it has nothing to do with Jesus Christ and Him crucified for our sins. The good news that Mooneyham has to share is that Communication + Commitment = Intimacy and that equation is the secret to overcoming boring sex....

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Self described "apostle" Jeremy Gibbons has decided to go full throttle "Sex in the City", as he dresses down the taboo topic of sex for the month of February.

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God apparently needs help and manmade additions to the means he's given to the church for the conversion of the unregenerate. The first...

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Friday, 10 February 2017 05:29

Sex Doesn't Have to Be Grey?!? Featured

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If you love sex then you're in for a real treat this weekend at Ignite "Church".  Heath Mooneyham, the pastor who was busted for a DUI and restored to ministry in a few short weeks, will be teaching everyone at Ignite how sex doesn't have to be grey.

Below is Ignite's promo video and Facebook...

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Thursday, 09 February 2017 10:23

Pastor Dykstra Will Teach You How to Date, Mate and Procreate Featured

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Eric Dykstra, the vision-casting leader of The Crossing Church will be teaching the people at The Crossing how to date, mate and procreate. Oh goody.... :-/

One has to wonder if Dykstra is an expert on dating, mating and procreating (we pray the sermons aren't illustrated). One thing is...

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This is NOT satire, this is real:

Jennifer LeClaire is actually trying to sell CDs of this useless "prophetic" drivel, accompanied by some music. Her website says this: "This is a CD of prophetic words, sounds and decrees that defy impossibilities." Huh? Wouldn't it have been more honest to say:...

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Tuesday, 07 February 2017 08:51

Training Creative Goat Herders - C3 Conference 2017 Featured

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It's that time of year for C3 (Creative Church Conference), or maybe better described as "Training for Creative Goat Herders". Their promotional videos gives us a sense of the unsavory flavor they're about to release. Note the Word of Faith declaring and decreeing (really just shouting) by Stev...

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Sunday, 05 February 2017 16:59

Pastor Spanks Himself for the Super Bowl and Other Silly Stuff Featured

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Apparently, most men are ignorant brutes who won't come to church unless it's turned into a spectacle of stupidity. At least this "church" seems to think so...

Has your pastor ever publicly spanked himself before getting up to preach? If you attend Crossroads Church you can answer in the affirmative....

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On Superbowl Sunday, Crossroads Church is having a preaching competition titled "Mingo vs. Tome." They're being incredibly honest about the event. They're admitting it's an irreverent, schticky thing meant to turn church into a spectator sport. 

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Like any megachurch gimmick they...

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